Q: People may be right to say I am cold-hearted and emotionless. That’s because I am very focused on getting things done, rather than caring too much about what people say or do. Personally, there is little place in me for public relations or human relations, as I harm no one. I just want to get my job done. Is there anything wrong with this philosophy?
A: I cannot imagine how anyone can live in this world happily with this sort of mindset and behaviour. You appear to be too serious and can scare ordinary people off! The result is you may find it difficult to have real friends. So you end up being lonely. I am not sure whether this is what you want. Notwithstanding this, can you afford to have this attitude in a world where having good relationships is a key factor in success and happiness?
If loneliness is not what you want, then you need to work on your relationship skills with people. One of the best ways is not to have too many of your own rules and beliefs that you want to impose on people. The philosophy of ‘people have to change for me’, instead of ‘me changing for them’ is not healthy. Find ways to compromise to make yourself more attractive to people without fearing that doing this will rob you of your values and beliefs. This will inevitably increase your power to do many things in life because you have the support of many people.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
- How happy are you, really?
- How is keeping to yourself helping you live a fulfilling life?
- What are you prepared to do to gain more friends?
- How can you do this without losing your values and beliefs?
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