PUT THE SPOTLIGHT ON OTHERS, NOT ON YOU
Q: Many people are visiting my wife who is suffering from a rare illness. While I appreciate those who visit her, there are some whom I am a little cheesed off, who after some pleasantries, start talking more about themselves instead of my wife’s well-being. Am I too sensitive or is there something wrong with their behaviours?
A: I do not think you are too sensitive and you are right that this group cares more of themselves than others like your wife.
People who always place others above self usually lack self-sensitivity as they are ‘numb’ to the thoughts and feelings of others.
What you can learn from this is the importance of placing attention on others, which will automatically reduce your talking time and increase your listening time. Even though when people want to know more of you, be aware not to get carried away to grab all the attention. Always make it a point to put the spotlight on them, which goes a long way to make the person feel real good.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
- How often do people enjoy talking with you?
- What can you do to place more attention on others than on you?
- What do you want to be aware of when with people?
- How can you show them they are most important to you?