Q: There are people in my organisation who do not do what they say they will do. To me, this is a lack of integrity as there is a disconnect between their words and actions. The sad thing is, they are not even bothered about not delivering their promises – and many of them are leaders who should display better behaviours! I am not sure whether I should leave them alone or tell them how I feel. What would you advise?
A: Nothing beats letting people know how they are doing, even though doing this may not be very pleasant. People should feel privileged to get feedback from someone who is sincere as compared to many who do not get any. They stand a lower chance for improvement compared to those who get feedback often. We all should be courageous to give feedback so that we become role models for others to do the same.
To do this well, be tactful, compassionate and not act like you have caught a thief. Create a safe environment to make them feel comfortable to hear as well as for them to talk about their oversights or wrongdoings. When sharing your observations with them, be as specific as possible for them to know exactly what they need to improve on.
Cite cases and give examples so that they are very clear about what you mean. Make it empowering for them to change by raising their awareness on what the improvements will do for them (and also the harm they do should they continue). Finally, be helpful by asking them what kind of support they need to make the change successful.
POWERFUL QUESTIONS
- What will make it compelling for you to give feedback to someone?
- How will doing this resonate with your personal values?
- How can you make sure they are aware of what exactly to improve on?
- What compelling reason will empower them to make the change?
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